Stephen Lynch - Superhero lyrics

If I could be a Superhero
I would be Awesome Man
I'd fly around the world fighting crime
According to my Awesome Plan
And if I saw criminals trying to lie
Hurting other people and making them cry
I'd haul them off to jail in my Awesome Van
Because I would be Awesome Man

(Now some criminals want you
To be a criminal, and they offer you
Things like drugs and alcohol, but we
Know what to do kids, we just say no)
If I could be a Superhero
I would be Drug-Free Boy
Telling the world of the evils of drugs
And all of the lives they destroy
Well I'd all the junkies getting so high
With their needles and bongs and
Sticks made of thai
As I burned them alive and
I would squeal with joy
Cause, I would be Drug-Free Boy

If I could be a Superhero
I'd be Immigration Dude
I'd send all the foreigners
Back to their homes
For eating up all of our food
For taking our welfare and best jobs to boot
Like landscaping, dishwashing
Picking our fruit i'd pass lots of laws to
Get rid of their brood
Because I would be Immigration Dude

(Kids, you can make up your
Own superhero if you could
Who would you be?)

If you could be a Superhero
Would you be Justice Guy?
Making sure people get what they deserve
Especially women who lie
Like if a wife left her husband
With three kids and no job
To run off to f -ing Hawaii
With some doctor named Bob
You could skin them and drain them
Of blood til they die especially Bob
Then you would be Justice Guy
Or you could be subtle
I didn't mean to be vague
Give her Mad Cow disease & let
Him die of the plague
As long as they suffer for their terrible lie
Especially Bob then you would be Justice Guy
Then you would be a Superhero, like me