Bart Baker - Hello Parody lyrics

Hello, help me i have no service
I shouldn't have switched to AT&T
I cannot even tweet
My entire world is crashing down
I feel like I'm dying
Hello, can you hear me?
Adele, calm down use the landline! You
Are such a drama queen
No, I canceled that last week
I'm havin' a panic attack! Just try outside
Stop crying

This entire song is one
Giant first-world problem rant

Hello, oh God, no, why!
I still have zero bars outside
I'm so screwed
My life is crumbling before my eyes
Wait, I know
I'll go back in and connect with Wi-Fi
Oh, no, I'm locked outside!
I can't fucking believe this, why?
Please come to the door and let
Me back in the home
It's fifty degrees and all I
Have is this massive coat i'm so cold

Thank God! A payphone! In the middle of the
Woods, makes perfect sense, normal totally
Come on, pick it up
I can't believe I'm locked out of
The house and you're not answering

It's been an hour since my last tweet
My fans must think I'm dead

Help me, I cannot get online!
If I do not say hello, I
Will lose my following
They will forget about me
Wait, hold up! I have a bar, now I can tweet
Hello, I'm still alive!
I have bad service, locked outside
She can't get in her house
And her service is bad
Oh God, poor Adele, her life is in shambles
It's so sad it's the worst day of my life
And now my fucking phone just died!
Everything's gone wrong
My world's falling apart
I might as well just give up and
Shove this knife in my heart goodbye, world