Crudbump - Big Balls Phone Calls lyrics

Mozart wrote sick shit and
Called it Le Buttfuck
Salvador Dali said my words are a truck
I talked to Stephen King
He said "Give me your autograph"
Motherfuckers need to know bout
The one true polymath

Playing Monopoly I'm always the top hat
Tapping store clerks on the side
Of the shoulder pad, asking
Where the drinks at? Where the drinks at?
Where the drinks at, my mouth is dry

I'm the Lee Harvey Oswald of eatin' pie
Had a plot to kill the president
When he was a white guy
Didn't carry it out cause
I would've got capped
And if I wanted to get shot for Bush
I would have gone to Iraq and Afghanistan
That's not the planistan
Honey I Shrunk the Country
Starring Rick Moranistan

I'm making big balls phone calls
I'm making big balls phone calls

I'm making big balls phone calls
Give me the handset
Asking Ted Strickland for serious transit
Not directly, I left him a voicemail
And said this is 2010 where the hell is
The light rail and street cars
Or the weed bars hit pound and dialed NPR
Because it's paid for by viewers like me
(That's PBS) oh

I'm making big balls phone calls
I'm making big balls phone calls