Crudbump - Expert Chef lyrics

Girl, I saw you had i saw you had a bunch of
Lean Cuisine wrappers in the trashcan
Don't you know that's no good?
You deserve something finer
You need fresh fruit's, vegetables
Some candies that's why I'm here for you
All you have to do is call
I'll come over and
Prepare something nutritious
That's what you need

Make you a trail mix with full size Kit Kats
Do it real quick
Show me where the bowl is at
Add some peanuts and mix em with some raisins
Put some M&Ms in and top
It with some Craisins

I'm the Expert Chef i'm the Expert Chef

Scrub a tub of cream cheese on a wheat pita
Make a Frito pie and spell
Your name out in Velveeta

I can decorate a cake
I can decorate a cupcake
Or a tray of cupcakes

I'm the Expert Chef i'm the Expert Chef

Little roll of Saran Wrap
I don't need very much Saran Wrap
I'm an expert i'm an expert

I heard you wanted a hotdog
I don't cook hotdogs
But, if I did I would sous-vide em
Put em on a plate and hold em
Out so you could see em
And flush em down the crapper
Like an Oscar Mayer BM

I'm the Expert Chef i'm the Expert Chef

I can make a little Snicker bar salad
All you need is Snicker bars
And a little talent
Pair it with a piece of Chicken Pate
And tell the sommelier to speak Francais

I'm the Expert Chef i'm the Expert Chef

Come on, baby, let's go
Let's go clear out the freezer

You don't have to live like that no more
Eating Smart Ones
Having some old fake turkey gravy
On some old fake potatoes

I'll cook you real poatoes
I'll cook you sweet potatoes
I'll cook African potatoes
I'll cook French potatoes
I can scallop or squeeze them

You know you don't
You don't have to have Hot Pockets no more
Let's just let's get the trashcan and just
Throw it all out

That's right
We're living a different life now
It's gonna be beautiful