John Mulaney - Cirque Du Soleil lyrics

What are you, on your phone? Hey
V-neck hey! – What's your name?
– Sam sam? Cool! What do
You do to afford V-necks
Sam? Typing numbers

Ah… numbers
The letters of math i’m sorry to bother you
I don't mean to single you out i
Hate when people get pulled out
Of the audience like
Are you familiar with the Cirque du Soleil
Sam? They're a group of French
Assholes that are slowly taking
Over America by humiliating audience members
One by one we
Once went to see Cirque du Soleil at
Navy Pier when I was a kid
And my brother came, and he was 12
Years old you remember being 12
When you’re like, "No one look at me or
I'll kill myself" And these
French bastards come into the crowd, being
Like, "Oh, Le volunteer, Bi Bi
Gwa Gwa Gwa!"

And they pulled my brother up on
Stage, and I was like, "No!" And they
Brought him up, and they reached into his
Sweatshirt, and they were like, "Oh
Le bra!"

And they had planted a bra, and they pulled
Out a bra and they were like, "Oh
Mais non!"
And everyone at Navy Pier was like "Ah, ha
Ha, ha, ha!" And my brother was like
"That's great!"