John Mulaney - We Have Cleared the Entire Day for This Random Guy lyrics

I was once in assembly listening
To a guy talk about
Smoking crack my social studies
Teacher yelled at me, "Sit up straight! Show
Some respect" I was like
"He’s smoking cocaine" "Sit
Up straight"? He’s
Standing on a 45-degree angle or
As junkies call it, first position

I always got yelled at assembly that’s right
There was always assembly and then, like
That second assembly to yell at
You for how you behaved
At the first assembly they’d be like
"Get in here! Sit down i
Want to talk about what happened yesterday"
You’re like eight years old, "What’s
Yesterday?" "We invite a woman
Here with homemade
Puppets to teach you about bullying
Through skit's and you laugh at this
Woman? We noticed you had
All been bullying each other and making
Fun of everything constantly so we
Invite a woman with straight gray
Hair, in a denim dress
With a wrist- cast and
Homemade puppets that all have the
Same voice to teach you
About bullying through skit's, and
You, ha ha ha, laugh it up what was so
Funny about that woman?
I want to know what was so funny
About when she couldn’t fit
The box of puppets
Back into the trunk of her Dodge
Neon? What was so hilarious that you
All ran to the windows? Well
You all missed a valuable lesson on the
Danger of cliques" "What’s a clique?"
"It’s when a group of people
Hang out together" "Oh, you mean like
Having friends?" "No
Because these people make
Fun of other people" "Oh
You mean like having friends?"