John Mulaney, Alex Brightman, Renée Elise Goldsberry - Holiday Party (Cocaine Tonight) lyrics

Hope to see you at our holiday party tonight
Joe!

Holiday party? God, no!

Hark, the herald angels sing
Glory to the newborn king
Peace on earth, and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled

If I'm being honest it was all very harrowing
When the invite came for
An evening of caroling i don't like singing
I'm not much for conversation
And the combo of the two
Gave me such hesitation
I took a little something just
To dull all the edges
Either that or I was certain to
Be jumping off the ledges
I'm really quite sorry but I'm
Going to admit it i'm really so sorry
If I could I would quit it
But the fact of the matter is
I did a little cocaine tonight

God rest ye merry gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember Christ our Savior
Was born on Christmas Day

I'm trying to relax but
Instead I keep finding
That I'm sweating from my brow and
My teeth won't stop grinding
And my mouth is as dry as
The sand of the Sahara-y
So I miscalculated and I
Chugged down a sherry
The whole room is spinning and I
Want to take a knee
But instead I'll sneak a bump as
I hide behind the tree

I'm really very sorry that
I can't stop talking
I'm so very sorry for my
Chirping and my squawking
But the fact of the matter is
I did a little cocaine tonight

Oh, come all ye faithful joyful and trium -

Things started reelin'
They kept getting realer
I started running low
So I called up my dealer
Twenty minutes later
The apartment door was buzzin'
When my dealer came in
I said he was my cousin
I didn't think it through
And I realized I'd been reckless
'Cause my dealer is a stealer and
He left with a necklace
I truly am regretting that I
Did a little cocaine tonight!

Oh man, here comes Anne
She's the athlete from 12G
She's the knees, of the bees
Always making eyes at me
It would seem such a dream if
I asked her for a dance
But, I just blew a rail and
I'm gonna shit my pants!

Hey there Joe, yes Joe I know
I was just about to go
I'm partied out without a doubt
When it comes to singing I can do without
Truth be told I have a cold
With a head like mine there's no denying

Hey Anne I'm Joe, yes of course you know
I don't know why I'm telling you so
I just got here and grabbed a beer
Are people singing or is it clear?
You look stunning
Is your nose running? I can get
A tissue if it's an issue

If I come clean don't start a scene but
In this moonlight you're such a sight
That it just feels right to admit I
Did a little bit of cocaine tonight

Do you have more?

I can get some!