John Mulaney, Renée Elise Goldsberry - My Home Court lyrics

I'm a pro down at the bubble
I teach tennis for my pay
I don't mean your board much trouble
But may I join this game of doubles?
Can I play if I can pay?
You'll have questions with some topspin
And my answers may be lobs
But, if you serve then I will volley
And we'll rally 'til it's folly
And I'll earn 8K's key fob
The world out there is made
Of only grass and clay
Give me concrete, be a sport
I can conquer on that court
That apartment, my home court

I can picture that studio
Fitted out with my style
A brown and beige kind of mood, you know
And metro hex green tile
A framed Navratilova
Hanging just above the sofa
And the brown and the beige
And the brown and the beige and the brown

In the kitchen hang copper pans
Against the paneled wall
And fuscia stripes on harvest wood
In the bathroom hall
The flooring by my cabinet
Is chevron herringbone laminate
And the brown and the beige
And the brown and the beige and the brown!

A yarn woven poster
That says the word "Love" that's home court
That I should be part of

Now I don't have any money
And I'm nearly forty all
It's sad but I will manage
And you'll have the advantage
But, I'll never double-fault
I don't have any credit
(I already answered that)
There's nothing in the bank
But, I'll turn out that number
If this tournament's all comers
I don't need to have a rank

'Cuz life's forehands take me forward
But the backhands set me back
So I need that apartment
With the carpet's and knick knacks
That apartment, My home court!

There's a nude by Avedon
Just above the toilet
A naked guy with pubic hair and he's sort of
I won't spoil it the right erotic art
Says I'm sexual but smart
And the brown and the beige
And the brown and the beige and the brown!
I'm gonna make life up there
(and the brown and the beige
And the brown and the beige)
With floor to ceiling teak
(and the brown and the beige
And the brown and the beige)
It's a palace of 500 square
But it's Polynesian chic
Don't think it's an insane wish that
My chairs be winged and Danish
And the brown and the beige
And the brown and the beige and the brown!

I'm laying my dreams on you
I already bought a fondue!
And the brown and the beige
And the brown and the beige
And the beige and the brown!

With the brown and the beige
And the brown and the beige
And the brown (brown)