John Mulaney - Pay Attention! lyrics

You promised that you'd stop talking
When will the chattering end?
You know I practiced for hours
I even brought in a friend

Well, I recall an announcement
That Lexie's mother just gave she said
"Our little Lexie's prepared us a skit
The kind you're goin' to crave"

Aw, no one is paying attention
That guy just went to the fridge
We don't do this for the money
We don't accept every gig

Well, guess what things you are missing
What we had planned for this crowd
Four minutes of total perfection
But that bald guy talked too loud

I'd wear my mom's blazer
So I could play a newscaster
The news is that there is a new funny song
You'd all burst into cheers and laughter

We'd stuff pillows in shirts to look fat
We'd take a blanket and wrap up the cat
The cat would be our baby too
Are we some kind of joke to you?

And then, we'd both act out all of Frozen
Then I would do a cartwheel
And then when she's done a cartwheel
I will also do a cartwheel

But, you don't value our vision
You keep talking while we lip sync
And, Mom, whose side is it you're on?
Shushing all your friends with a wink

Uh, you have to pay attention
This is a very big deal
We even fought about who sang what
But now our friendship is healed
You are not paying attention
So watch us run off in tears
You will regret the skit you missed out on
You will regret it for years

Mom's friend, Patti pay attention!
Her adult son pay attention!
Some guy's wife pay attention!
Dad's rich friend pay attention!
Man with mustache we respect you
Former teacher weird to see you
Ronald Reagan pay attention!
Oh wait, he died nevermind!
Everybody pay attention!
Look at us! Pay attention!
Don't look away!
Pay attention, pay attention, pay attention