John Mulaney - Plain Plate of Noodles lyrics

I hate to make a scene at a restaurant
But there's only one meal that I ever want
Just noodles with butter and not too much
And they have to be the tube
Kind or I won't touch
We were once on a cruise and
The waiters got to know me
Before my family ordered
They would bring me macaroni
A plain plate of noodles with
A little bit of butter
But life in a cruise ship, it's
A boat without a rudder, yeah
Plain plate of noodles with a
Little bit of butter
It's the only thing I'll eat
I've tried steak and chicken and
Lots of different fishes
But, I just want my noodles
Even though they're not nutritious
They say be myself and live the life I want
Except when I want noodles
At a fancy restaurant
I know that I'm not normal
I feel alone and lonely
I'm the only livin' boy
Who just wants macaroni i just want macaroni
Just a plain plate of noodles with
A little bit of butter
'Cause, I tried every food
And haven't liked another
Plain plate of noodles with a little bit of
Butter is the only thing I'll eat
And on my wedding day while
My bride is eatin' lobster
Will I still be saying, "Can I please
Just have some pasta?"
A plain plate of noodles with
A little bit of butter
I've tried every food and
I haven't liked another
A plain plate of noodles with
A little bit of butter
It's the only thing I'll eat
Just a plain plate of noodles
A plain plate of noodles
A plain plate of noodles
A plain plate of noodles
A plain plate of noodles with
A little bit of butter
A plain plate of noodles with
A little bit of butter
A plain plate of noodles with
A little bit of butter
'Cause, I've tried every food
He's tried every food
Lord, I've tried every food
He's tried every food
And I haven't liked another
It's the only thing I'll eat