John Mulaney - Scarface, Amnesia, and One Hundred Million Dollars lyrics
[John Mulaney - Scarface, Amnesia, and One Hundred Million Dollars lyrics]
I'm a big movie fan i'm very
Very confused why so many people love
The move, Scarface, though i'm not saying
It's a bad movie it is, but that's
Not my point it's just like that I've
Seen tons of people in the
Past who wear like
Knee-long Scarface t-shirts
Like it's a flag or something
Like the guy from Scarface is their hero i
Wonder if they've seen the end of
The movie, because it ends really
Really badly spoiler alert: Scarface dies
Snorting a comical pile
Of cocaine in a tacky-ass
Mansion that looks like
If the Golden Girls won
The lottery 'Cause they
Won the Powerball lottery also I don't
Like people lumping in Scarface
With better movies
I have friends that'll be like "yeah
I love movies that are like
The Godfather and Scarface"
"Oh yeah? Well my favorite
Foods are lobster and
Skittles those are equal in my eyes"
I also think it's weird in moves when
Someone has amnesia and they wake up
In the hospital a lot of times they'll
Be surrounded by friends and family
But when they open their eyes they
Go "Who are you?" Because
That's not how you act when
You don't recognize somebody that's
Very rude it would be chaos
Out there if every time you saw someone you
Didn't recognize, you went
"Who are you?" I always try to
Be really polite in life, so
Like if I had amnesia, you'd never
Know it i'd wake up and
They'd be like "Hi John
We're so happy you're awake"
And I'd just be like, "Oh, hey man
How's it going?", "Oh, hey dude
Nice to see you again" because that's how
You act when you can tell
That someone recognizes you and you have
No fucking clue who they are
I love movies
Though i'm kinda It's funny to me
Over the summer when these big
Blockbuster Action movies come out
And you read
About one movie, one of these movies
And it'll say that it cost something
Like 100 million dollars, because whenever I
Read that, I think like, "yeah
You didn't need to make a
Movie with that money i would have bought a
Ticket just to see 100 million dollars" Like
I am at a point in my life where I would
Wait on a line just to look at that
Much cash like you could just stack it up in
A motel room and line us up down
The hall you put some guy out front
In a straw hat that's like
"It is 8 dollars to
See the 100 million, or 10 dollars to have
Your money added to the 100 million" Ooh
Very luxurious!
But think about it that
Would be entertaining, you know?
You'd go into this room and there'd
Be like stacks of hundred dollar
Bills, and jewelry, and gold coins spilling
Out of a pirate chest
Because pirates never bring a
Big enough chest in pictures, their
Gold coins are always overflowing
And they can't get
The lid closed why is that? I think
That maybe with the eye patches
They have poor depth perception
Very confused why so many people love
The move, Scarface, though i'm not saying
It's a bad movie it is, but that's
Not my point it's just like that I've
Seen tons of people in the
Past who wear like
Knee-long Scarface t-shirts
Like it's a flag or something
Like the guy from Scarface is their hero i
Wonder if they've seen the end of
The movie, because it ends really
Really badly spoiler alert: Scarface dies
Snorting a comical pile
Of cocaine in a tacky-ass
Mansion that looks like
If the Golden Girls won
The lottery 'Cause they
Won the Powerball lottery also I don't
Like people lumping in Scarface
With better movies
I have friends that'll be like "yeah
I love movies that are like
The Godfather and Scarface"
"Oh yeah? Well my favorite
Foods are lobster and
Skittles those are equal in my eyes"
I also think it's weird in moves when
Someone has amnesia and they wake up
In the hospital a lot of times they'll
Be surrounded by friends and family
But when they open their eyes they
Go "Who are you?" Because
That's not how you act when
You don't recognize somebody that's
Very rude it would be chaos
Out there if every time you saw someone you
Didn't recognize, you went
"Who are you?" I always try to
Be really polite in life, so
Like if I had amnesia, you'd never
Know it i'd wake up and
They'd be like "Hi John
We're so happy you're awake"
And I'd just be like, "Oh, hey man
How's it going?", "Oh, hey dude
Nice to see you again" because that's how
You act when you can tell
That someone recognizes you and you have
No fucking clue who they are
I love movies
Though i'm kinda It's funny to me
Over the summer when these big
Blockbuster Action movies come out
And you read
About one movie, one of these movies
And it'll say that it cost something
Like 100 million dollars, because whenever I
Read that, I think like, "yeah
You didn't need to make a
Movie with that money i would have bought a
Ticket just to see 100 million dollars" Like
I am at a point in my life where I would
Wait on a line just to look at that
Much cash like you could just stack it up in
A motel room and line us up down
The hall you put some guy out front
In a straw hat that's like
"It is 8 dollars to
See the 100 million, or 10 dollars to have
Your money added to the 100 million" Ooh
Very luxurious!
But think about it that
Would be entertaining, you know?
You'd go into this room and there'd
Be like stacks of hundred dollar
Bills, and jewelry, and gold coins spilling
Out of a pirate chest
Because pirates never bring a
Big enough chest in pictures, their
Gold coins are always overflowing
And they can't get
The lid closed why is that? I think
That maybe with the eye patches
They have poor depth perception