John Mulaney - Trying His Best lyrics

Now when people make fun of
Me, I deserve it, uh, i
Do when people get mad at
Me now, it's my fault
When people get mad at me on the
Highway that's all my bad i'm
A terrible driver
I know nothing about cars i meant to
Learn about cars and then I forgot
And nothing that I know can help you with
Your car ever unless you're like, "Hey uh
I got a flat
Tire, does anyone here know a lot about the
Cosby Show?" And I'd be like "Oh, perhaps
I can be of some assistance" I'm one
Of the worst drivers I've ever seen
And I just want you all
To know that if you're ever on
The highway behind me, uh
I hear you honking and I also
Don't want me to be doing what I'm doing I
Don't like that I'm in that lane either
And I sure would like to get out of it

I was on the highway in Texas recently
Which was like a highway filled
With thirteen year olds, and I was
In the far left lane
And I was going in the far left lane and
It turned into a U turn only lane and
I started to make a U turn and I
Panicked because I didn't want to make a
U turn, so I put the car in
Reverse and merged right back
On to the highway the best thing
About that was after that
Cars were pulling up and looking
Over to see who just did that piece
Of shit move expecting to see like
A hundred year old blind dog who's texting
While driving and drinking a smoothie
Instead they see a twenty-eight year old
Healthy man trying his best