Saturday Night Live, Beck Bennett, Kate McKinnon, Cecily Strong, John Mulaney - Sound of Music: Rolf and Liesl lyrics

I am sixteen going on seventeen
I know that I'm naïve
Fellows I meet may tell me I'm sweet
And willingly I believe

That's true!

You are seventeen going on eighteen

Actually, I'm thirty-three

Wait, what?

I know I look young and I said I'm young
But, I lied I'm thirty-three

You're thirty-three? But, you ride a bicycle

Well, that's because I'm very poor, darling

And you live with your mother

Wow, she's got a list look
You're only as old as you feel

Liesl, do you know what statutory means?

Umm no

It means I looked it up and we are
On the right side of the cusp

I don't know, Rolf it's a
Pretty big age difference and, i don't
Want to say this, but there's rumors
That you're maybe a Nazi, maybe

Focus on the age stuff

Well, I don't know if I can trust you

Don't be dramatic it's not a great look
Trust me I know what guys like

But, I am sixteen

And I am thirty-eight
I've had some birthdays since
We started talking

What? Thirty-eight? I thought you
Said you were thirty-three

Oh, let me explain

I am thirty-three
Next month I'll be thirty-nine
Baby, I'm forty-one

Rolf!

Liesl! I know you're freaked out but
This is Austria nineteen-thirty bad in
A few months this will be
The least of your worries

You keep saying stuff like that

Can I help it that I'm attracted to
You? You're so mature and sophisticated

Really? You think I seem older?

Yes what with the complaining and
Those hefty naturals, honestly
When I first came to the house
I thought you were the mom

Oh, I don't know you're
A geriatric telegram boy
And I'm rich and good with puppets
So you do the math

I know I'm not perfect
But I've talked to mother and I'm moving out

Really? You bought a house?

No, I rented, with roommates

Fritz and Hans and Kevin and Gerbils
And four other guys named Hans

That's a lot of Nazis
But, I still don't know how I
Feel about dating an older guy

Oh, Liesl age is just a number that
The government keeps track of for example:

I am forty-six

That's older than my father

Damn, how sexy is that

I do like attention and not to mention
My brain's not totally formed

Oh, Liesl i like that so much

That's he!

Stop it at once!

Papa!

Oh, hello, Gaylord

Oh, shut up!

But that's your name
Isn't it? Gaylord Von Trapp

Yeah, but you know what you're doing

Oh, just arrest the perv!

Hey, how old are you, by the way?

I'm old enough, but it's still kinda dicey

Layee odl, layee odl layee mhm