Saturday Night Live, Seth Meyers, Jay Pharoah, Lady Gaga, Nasim Pedrad - Waking Up With Kimye lyrics

KANYE: Welcome to our show
Waking up with Kimye
Haaaaaaaa! I'm Kanye West and this is my girl
Kim Kardashian what better way
To start off your
Morning than with our energy, my opinions
And the sound of Kim's voice

KIM: Hii guuuyss

KANYE: Y'all like this dress? I picked it out
This ain't no Kris Humphries
Basketball wife Kim

KIM: yeah

KANYE: I turned this woman into an artiste

KIM: yeah kANYE: A philosopher

KIM: Okay

KANYE: An intergalactic icon of creativity
Huh?!

KIM: I'm also blonde now!

KANYE: Now give it up for
Our hen-house family band, the Kardashian 11

KIM: Hi you guys

THE KARDASHIANIAN 11: Hiiiii

KANYE: All playing instruments match
To the musical
Abilities we got Khloe on triangle
Kourtney on triangle, Kendall on a box
Of rice, Rob on the Simon
Kris Jenner on the clapping of her
Own hands and also on triangles
Several other satellite Kardashians that I'm
Excited to meet at Thanksgiving

Alright, our first segment highlights the
Latest innovations in artistic expression
It's called "What Kim Made"

KANYE: Show the world what you created, baby

KIM: I made this, it's a macaroni necklace

KANYE: Y'all hear that?! She just changed
The game food is jewelry now, haaaaaaaa!
Ok, time to bring out our first
Guest you can do this baby, come on
KIM: Ok our first guest works at the Apple
Store in the Beverly Center
Please welcome Karen

KANYE: No no no no now
Karen please tell the people what you
Do at the Apple store

KAREN: I help customers fix problems
With their Apple computers

KANYE: Haaaaaaaa! Haaaaaaaa! And
This somehow makes
You deserving of the title genius?

KIM: Uh oh

KAREN: Well
I work at the Genius bar so it's
Just a term Apple came up with

KANYE: You do not deserve the
Title of genius! You can't
Just throw that term around!
Mark Zuckerberg is a
Genius, I am a genius, I am a God, Kim
Is a genius! Tell him
About your invention idea, baby!

KIM: Ok, uh you know how the people who
Wash your clothes sometimes have to go home
But you have a top you still need
To wash? Well what if there
Was a machine in your house that
Could wash your clothes for you?

KAREN: You mean a washing machine?

KIM: Oh, that's a good name for it!

KANYE: You see? We earn the
Right to be called
Genius between the two of us we have won
19 Grammies, sold over 21, 000
000 albums and won
Best male rapper artist at the NAACP awards
Haaaaaaaa!

KIM: Yay we did it!

KAREN: Um I'm a little confused
I was told I was here to fix a Macbook error
KANYE: yeah that's right, Kim's laptop broke

KIM: I saw an apple on it
So I dipped it in caramel

KAREN: So do you guys need me to
Fix it or can I go please?

KANYE: Naw, uh you know cause uh
Right now it's time for our
Next segment ok? Our next
Segment when we take an in depth look at
The world of fashion frumpy white girl
Get up and get next to my fiance cause
It's time for "Kim Wore It Better"!

KAREN: Wore it better? How
Can you even compare
Us we're not even wearing the same thing?

KANYE: And that's a damn shame, cause you
Standing next to a style Titan baby
What do I always call you?

KIM: The Michael Jordan of wearing clothes

KANYE: yeah, ok let's analyze the two
Alright kim is wearing a Givenchy
Piece that she initially
Did not want to wear so I had to
Put her in it while she was
Asleep it's sexy while at the
Same still says "Hey, this girl knows
How to read" and uh
Karen's wearing this garbage

KAREN: nervous groan

KANYE: Kim wore it better! What do you
Have to say for yourself Karen?

KAREN: Well first of all this
Is my work uniform

KIM: Ewww work

KAREN: But honestly I don't care
About fashion i think
People who try too hard
With their outfit's are
Maybe hiding something like c'mon dress
Like a person i'm
A jorts and jelly shoes kind of girl

KANYE: Alright, um
I'm gon' pretend you did not just
Say that we're gonna take a quick break
When we come back Kim is going to
Teach you about Japanese
Paper folding art of Origami, the art of it
So

KIM: It's a snowball!