Larry the Cable Guy - A Letter to Santa Claus lyrics
[Larry the Cable Guy - A Letter to Santa Claus lyrics]
Boy, I tell you what, a lot of times I used
To write letters to Santy
Claus and a lot of folks do i found
A letter I writ to Santy Claus
A long time ago hope you
Enjoy i don't remember what grade
I was in, but, boy, it's a good letter
Dear Santy Claus
Sorry I missed seeing you last night
But I falled asleep
Watching Backdoor Stewardesses
Thanks for the stockingful of gummy boobs my
Brother said they didn't make gummy boobs
But you sure did show him!
I already done ate the
Nipples off of 'em! He said you
Was gonna fill my sock full
Of turds 'cause I picked on
The class retard last year
But you showed him! Gummy boobs! He
Don't even know not even nothing
I hope you didn't hear Mom and
Dad humping last night when you
Crawled down the chimney sometimes they get
Pretty loud dad's real fat
And breathes hard so when
He's all horned up, we don't get much
Sleep around here poor Mom sometimes
When they's going at it
Sounds like he's trying to clean and
Jerk a small utility vehicle
Anyway, thanks for all the
Presents let me ask
You something are all the elves, like
Willy Wonka Oompa Loompas or
Just regular-looking dwarves?
I go to school with a dwarf
He's spookier than hell he's
A 3-foot 2-inch feller with a
Big-ass head he's got
Like, a regular feller head
Just a small body he's got
Enough head for three
Or four fellers we call him Franken-dwarf and
He gets all upset he sounds like
One of them chipmunks when
He talks i wonder if elves
And dwarves have regular
Big people turds or little
Itty-bitty midget Cocoa
Puff-looking things figured you'd
Know 'cause you
Live with them elves and stuff and
Dwarves you'd know all about it
Well, I gotta go
Larry the Cable Guy
To write letters to Santy
Claus and a lot of folks do i found
A letter I writ to Santy Claus
A long time ago hope you
Enjoy i don't remember what grade
I was in, but, boy, it's a good letter
Dear Santy Claus
Sorry I missed seeing you last night
But I falled asleep
Watching Backdoor Stewardesses
Thanks for the stockingful of gummy boobs my
Brother said they didn't make gummy boobs
But you sure did show him!
I already done ate the
Nipples off of 'em! He said you
Was gonna fill my sock full
Of turds 'cause I picked on
The class retard last year
But you showed him! Gummy boobs! He
Don't even know not even nothing
I hope you didn't hear Mom and
Dad humping last night when you
Crawled down the chimney sometimes they get
Pretty loud dad's real fat
And breathes hard so when
He's all horned up, we don't get much
Sleep around here poor Mom sometimes
When they's going at it
Sounds like he's trying to clean and
Jerk a small utility vehicle
Anyway, thanks for all the
Presents let me ask
You something are all the elves, like
Willy Wonka Oompa Loompas or
Just regular-looking dwarves?
I go to school with a dwarf
He's spookier than hell he's
A 3-foot 2-inch feller with a
Big-ass head he's got
Like, a regular feller head
Just a small body he's got
Enough head for three
Or four fellers we call him Franken-dwarf and
He gets all upset he sounds like
One of them chipmunks when
He talks i wonder if elves
And dwarves have regular
Big people turds or little
Itty-bitty midget Cocoa
Puff-looking things figured you'd
Know 'cause you
Live with them elves and stuff and
Dwarves you'd know all about it
Well, I gotta go
Larry the Cable Guy