Larry the Cable Guy - A Letter to Shania Twain lyrics
[Larry the Cable Guy - A Letter to Shania Twain lyrics]
Last Christmas, I went up to Nashville
For a little vacation and, uh
Boy, I love Shania Twain boy
I tell you what boy, she makes me
Hornier than a retard watching
Baywatch but anyway, i writ her a letter
In the hotel room i had one
Of these nice fancy hotels
So I tried to seduce her and
Sent her this letter this
Is my letter to Shania and
She actually got this letter:
Dear Shania
You're finer than hell i'd eat your
Turds you think I'm kidding?
(whispers I figured I'd charm her
Off the bat) I'd
Treat you like a prize-winning
Hog and give you
The run of my homestead where I live down
Here, off the alligator-infested lake
Tell you what
They caught a big ol' 16-foot-long
Gator in that lake
By me that's right we're
Talking world record
Gator tell me now you ain't got hard nipples
From our homestead tell you what, Shania
I ain't like them Nashville pussies
I'd treat you to all
The best things life had to
Offer please call me
Here, I'm staying at the Chug-a-Lug Inn
Across from that big muffler joint boy
I got me one of them wiggling beds i
Tell you what, if you want, i'll splurge
And borrow you a couple of quarters fifty
Cents will give you almost 10 minutes
Of bed wiggling you know, vibrating to let
You know I mean business, Shania
Bought dating you and all and to let you
Know that I ain't know
Lowlife hard-up scumball
I have enclosed a couple of gifts in this
Fancy Chug-a-Lug Inn hotel
Envelope that's right
There's a bunch of coupons for that real
Fancy Long John Silver's restaurant down
The street and let me tell you something
If you don't ever use that one
Coupon that's in there
For extra hushpuppies, send
That son of a bitch back
'cause I might give that to
My sister and her
Husband for their anniversary there's
Also a Reagan bumper
Sticker in there and a bunch
Of Grit's-N Tit's Git-R-Done
Lick-on tattoos i had 'em made up special
I think you're fine now call me don't
Call after one o'clock though 'cause
I'm usually on the phone talking to
One of them 900 talk-dirty girls
Love in Christ
Larry the Cable Guy
For a little vacation and, uh
Boy, I love Shania Twain boy
I tell you what boy, she makes me
Hornier than a retard watching
Baywatch but anyway, i writ her a letter
In the hotel room i had one
Of these nice fancy hotels
So I tried to seduce her and
Sent her this letter this
Is my letter to Shania and
She actually got this letter:
Dear Shania
You're finer than hell i'd eat your
Turds you think I'm kidding?
(whispers I figured I'd charm her
Off the bat) I'd
Treat you like a prize-winning
Hog and give you
The run of my homestead where I live down
Here, off the alligator-infested lake
Tell you what
They caught a big ol' 16-foot-long
Gator in that lake
By me that's right we're
Talking world record
Gator tell me now you ain't got hard nipples
From our homestead tell you what, Shania
I ain't like them Nashville pussies
I'd treat you to all
The best things life had to
Offer please call me
Here, I'm staying at the Chug-a-Lug Inn
Across from that big muffler joint boy
I got me one of them wiggling beds i
Tell you what, if you want, i'll splurge
And borrow you a couple of quarters fifty
Cents will give you almost 10 minutes
Of bed wiggling you know, vibrating to let
You know I mean business, Shania
Bought dating you and all and to let you
Know that I ain't know
Lowlife hard-up scumball
I have enclosed a couple of gifts in this
Fancy Chug-a-Lug Inn hotel
Envelope that's right
There's a bunch of coupons for that real
Fancy Long John Silver's restaurant down
The street and let me tell you something
If you don't ever use that one
Coupon that's in there
For extra hushpuppies, send
That son of a bitch back
'cause I might give that to
My sister and her
Husband for their anniversary there's
Also a Reagan bumper
Sticker in there and a bunch
Of Grit's-N Tit's Git-R-Done
Lick-on tattoos i had 'em made up special
I think you're fine now call me don't
Call after one o'clock though 'cause
I'm usually on the phone talking to
One of them 900 talk-dirty girls
Love in Christ
Larry the Cable Guy