Larry the Cable Guy - Couldn’t Keep the Pizza Lit lyrics
[Larry the Cable Guy - Couldn’t Keep the Pizza Lit lyrics]
Some girl was banging on my
Door the other day
At four o'clock in the morning i was like
'What in the world?' You know? So
I got up and let her
Out tell you what i was madder
Than Janet Reno's blind date
I met this guy a while back, looked like
Shania Twain only a little shorter, and, uh
Face was different
I was drunk, it looked like
Shania Twain next morning
Mark Twain is laying there next to me there
He- (laughs) She was ugly
Now i'd take her to Glamour Shots
And get her an estimate you
Know? She was- yeah
She was ugly right there she
Had marks on her from
Where people had been touching her
With the ten-foot poles!
I don't like Miami too much though
There's a lot of drugs and stuff i was down
There in broad daylight, car drive by, says
'You want some cocaine?' I'm like, "No
Officer"
I don't do drugs i don't know what
I'm doing i tried smoking mushrooms once
Couldn't keep the pizza lit, you know? So I
Quit doing that i tell you
I was madder than a three legged
Dog trying to bury a turd
On an icy lake i tell you what tell you what
Is it a ménage à trois if you
Make love to your girlfriend and
The dog licks your hind-end? Would that
Be a ménage à trois, or?
(laughs) Now, that-
Lord, I apologize, for talking about the
Dog licking my crack there
And be with the starving pygmies down
There in New Guinea amen
I'm trying to teach my dog safe sex
But he keeps licking off the rubbers
(laughs) That's funny! I don't
Care who you are
That's funny right there! If
You don't think that's funny, you get
Out of here right now
'cause that's a good program right there
Preacher told me that joke
(laughs) That's right
Git-R-Done!
Door the other day
At four o'clock in the morning i was like
'What in the world?' You know? So
I got up and let her
Out tell you what i was madder
Than Janet Reno's blind date
I met this guy a while back, looked like
Shania Twain only a little shorter, and, uh
Face was different
I was drunk, it looked like
Shania Twain next morning
Mark Twain is laying there next to me there
He- (laughs) She was ugly
Now i'd take her to Glamour Shots
And get her an estimate you
Know? She was- yeah
She was ugly right there she
Had marks on her from
Where people had been touching her
With the ten-foot poles!
I don't like Miami too much though
There's a lot of drugs and stuff i was down
There in broad daylight, car drive by, says
'You want some cocaine?' I'm like, "No
Officer"
I don't do drugs i don't know what
I'm doing i tried smoking mushrooms once
Couldn't keep the pizza lit, you know? So I
Quit doing that i tell you
I was madder than a three legged
Dog trying to bury a turd
On an icy lake i tell you what tell you what
Is it a ménage à trois if you
Make love to your girlfriend and
The dog licks your hind-end? Would that
Be a ménage à trois, or?
(laughs) Now, that-
Lord, I apologize, for talking about the
Dog licking my crack there
And be with the starving pygmies down
There in New Guinea amen
I'm trying to teach my dog safe sex
But he keeps licking off the rubbers
(laughs) That's funny! I don't
Care who you are
That's funny right there! If
You don't think that's funny, you get
Out of here right now
'cause that's a good program right there
Preacher told me that joke
(laughs) That's right
Git-R-Done!