Larry the Cable Guy - Grandpa’s Thanksgiving Story lyrics
[Larry the Cable Guy - Grandpa’s Thanksgiving Story lyrics]
This here is more geared toward Thanksgiving
But still a nice holiday
This is the story of the
First Thanksgiving, once again
By my drunk grandpa:
'Many years ago
Christopher Columbus and his pilgrim
Buddies come to america on a boat called the
Mayflower to live 'cause the English King
Wouldn't let the Jewish people go
So Moses, who was a
Friend of Christopher Columbus
Rented three boats: the Mayflower
The Santa Maria, and the USS Enterprise
When they landed on America
An Indian squaw named Sacagawea
Met them and traded them pelts for beer
And then showed 'em how to de-gut a rabbit
That night her friends danced around
With their boobs hanging
Out and balanced clay pots on their heads
The head pilgrim then baptized all
The Indians to be
Christians and they shot turkeys
And played horseshoes
It was General Custer's birthday
And three Oriental kings showed up with
Presents of myrrh and other crap
Many pilgrims didn't survive the first
Winter 'cause they didn't have
Heat, 'cause Jimmy Carter, who was
President of the Pilgrims
Had an oil embargo
Sacagawea and her Indian friends
Burned buffalo turds
And heated the camp the pilgrims
Was thankful however, it smelled so bad
Animals come out of the forest, two by two
The Lord then made a rainbow appear
To let the people know that
He would never make turds burn again
And cause a horrible smell
Sacagawea fell in love with Ke-mo Sah-bee
And they were married on that
First Thanksgiving and lived in a
Tent with wheels that's right
All the pilgrims were happy they
Were away from the king
And safe in a new land and to beat that
They all landed right on Thanksgiving day
Charlton Heston was then elected president'
My grandpa was really drunk laughs Git-R-Done
But still a nice holiday
This is the story of the
First Thanksgiving, once again
By my drunk grandpa:
'Many years ago
Christopher Columbus and his pilgrim
Buddies come to america on a boat called the
Mayflower to live 'cause the English King
Wouldn't let the Jewish people go
So Moses, who was a
Friend of Christopher Columbus
Rented three boats: the Mayflower
The Santa Maria, and the USS Enterprise
When they landed on America
An Indian squaw named Sacagawea
Met them and traded them pelts for beer
And then showed 'em how to de-gut a rabbit
That night her friends danced around
With their boobs hanging
Out and balanced clay pots on their heads
The head pilgrim then baptized all
The Indians to be
Christians and they shot turkeys
And played horseshoes
It was General Custer's birthday
And three Oriental kings showed up with
Presents of myrrh and other crap
Many pilgrims didn't survive the first
Winter 'cause they didn't have
Heat, 'cause Jimmy Carter, who was
President of the Pilgrims
Had an oil embargo
Sacagawea and her Indian friends
Burned buffalo turds
And heated the camp the pilgrims
Was thankful however, it smelled so bad
Animals come out of the forest, two by two
The Lord then made a rainbow appear
To let the people know that
He would never make turds burn again
And cause a horrible smell
Sacagawea fell in love with Ke-mo Sah-bee
And they were married on that
First Thanksgiving and lived in a
Tent with wheels that's right
All the pilgrims were happy they
Were away from the king
And safe in a new land and to beat that
They all landed right on Thanksgiving day
Charlton Heston was then elected president'
My grandpa was really drunk laughs Git-R-Done