Larry the Cable Guy - No Hair - Just a Red Head lyrics
[Larry the Cable Guy - No Hair - Just a Red Head lyrics]
I always really get irritated when you
Go out to eat and stuff
You know i took this girl out
To eat a while back
We was at a nice place i rolled the window
Up and the tray fell off and and uh
She's like
'You got mustard on my jacket!'
I'm like, 'What the hell are you bitching
About? I had to
Smoke 800 packs of cigarettes
To get the jacket!'
Ungrateful, is what she was i'd have been
Madder than a deaf mute playing
Bingo, getting bingo, and trying to holler
Out 'Bingo!' That's funny! 'B5' 'Nga
Nga!'
I ain't gonna get married
Though i thought I was once i met
This redhead uh, no hair, just a
Red head and, uh yeah, she burnt
Up in a trailer fire a while back there yeah
It was my fault
It was her birthday and I was
Lighting farts and and, uh
She was a little too close to me and
(whoosh) singed her eyebrows
Her hair burnt up and she running
Around the trailer and caught
The trailer on fire
And I called the fire department
They couldn't find us nowhere
And we had to meet 'em halfway you know
Good thing we run a couple
Red lights or we'd
Have lost the whole kitchen
On that place there
My Grandma been married about
60 years and, uh
She just died recently, 104, and, uh
But they saved the baby (laughs)
Lord, I apologize for talking about my
Grandma like that and be
With the starving pygmies down there
In New Guinea amen
But, my Grandma, she'd been
Married about 60 years
And I was asking her about marriage, you
Know? 'cause she ought to know, and we was
Talking the other day about an hour
You know she's sitting there
I said
'You think I ought to get married?'
And you know what she said?
'Shut the door I'm trying to poop!'
You believe that? And then she kept talking
To me with the door there
(making struggling noises occasionally)
She's like
'I don't understand why you wanna get
Married you've only been dating
That girl maybe two or three
Years at the most there'
Dadgum 'Why don't you drop the chalupa
And then come on out and talk to me? I mean
This is ridiculous!'
'hello? McFly, hello?'
Then she's like, '
(sniff) Ugh, it smells like crap in here!"
'What do you think's coming out of
My hind end? Twizzlers? Dadgum, you heard me
(makes struggling noise) going like that
Didn't you? What do
You think I'm doing, lifting
Weights in here? Dadgum, i'm
Trying to drop a stink-pickle for
Pete's sake you are
Harder to understand than a
Harelip ordering Biggie fries, i tell you'
Haha, that's funny!
'Can I help you?' 'Uh
Wiggy fifes?' 'What the hell
Are wiggy fifes?'
Lord, I apologize for talking about the
Retard ordering wiggy fifes and
Be with the starving pygmies down
There in New Guinea amen
Go out to eat and stuff
You know i took this girl out
To eat a while back
We was at a nice place i rolled the window
Up and the tray fell off and and uh
She's like
'You got mustard on my jacket!'
I'm like, 'What the hell are you bitching
About? I had to
Smoke 800 packs of cigarettes
To get the jacket!'
Ungrateful, is what she was i'd have been
Madder than a deaf mute playing
Bingo, getting bingo, and trying to holler
Out 'Bingo!' That's funny! 'B5' 'Nga
Nga!'
I ain't gonna get married
Though i thought I was once i met
This redhead uh, no hair, just a
Red head and, uh yeah, she burnt
Up in a trailer fire a while back there yeah
It was my fault
It was her birthday and I was
Lighting farts and and, uh
She was a little too close to me and
(whoosh) singed her eyebrows
Her hair burnt up and she running
Around the trailer and caught
The trailer on fire
And I called the fire department
They couldn't find us nowhere
And we had to meet 'em halfway you know
Good thing we run a couple
Red lights or we'd
Have lost the whole kitchen
On that place there
My Grandma been married about
60 years and, uh
She just died recently, 104, and, uh
But they saved the baby (laughs)
Lord, I apologize for talking about my
Grandma like that and be
With the starving pygmies down there
In New Guinea amen
But, my Grandma, she'd been
Married about 60 years
And I was asking her about marriage, you
Know? 'cause she ought to know, and we was
Talking the other day about an hour
You know she's sitting there
I said
'You think I ought to get married?'
And you know what she said?
'Shut the door I'm trying to poop!'
You believe that? And then she kept talking
To me with the door there
(making struggling noises occasionally)
She's like
'I don't understand why you wanna get
Married you've only been dating
That girl maybe two or three
Years at the most there'
Dadgum 'Why don't you drop the chalupa
And then come on out and talk to me? I mean
This is ridiculous!'
'hello? McFly, hello?'
Then she's like, '
(sniff) Ugh, it smells like crap in here!"
'What do you think's coming out of
My hind end? Twizzlers? Dadgum, you heard me
(makes struggling noise) going like that
Didn't you? What do
You think I'm doing, lifting
Weights in here? Dadgum, i'm
Trying to drop a stink-pickle for
Pete's sake you are
Harder to understand than a
Harelip ordering Biggie fries, i tell you'
Haha, that's funny!
'Can I help you?' 'Uh
Wiggy fifes?' 'What the hell
Are wiggy fifes?'
Lord, I apologize for talking about the
Retard ordering wiggy fifes and
Be with the starving pygmies down
There in New Guinea amen