Larry the Cable Guy - Pissed-Off Christmas Poem lyrics
[Larry the Cable Guy - Pissed-Off Christmas Poem lyrics]
Alright, here's a Christmas poem
I want to do
I writ this poem one night after
Being all pissed off at the news, 'cause
They're so dadgum political
Correct at Christmastime, it irritates me:
'twas the night before Christmas
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring 'cause the
Political correctors done made everybody have
A holiday party and took the
Fricking fun out of everything!
And me and my camo undershorts
And Mom in her Quigley
Down Under Tom Selleck t-shirt
Caroled to ourselves in
Our living room 'cause we was
Afraid some anti-Jesus moron
Might hear us singing 'Joy to the World
The Lord has come' and might get the ACLU
To sue us 'cause we's singing about
Jesus! And that's just as bad as rape
And murder in this dadgum country!
When out on the window
I heard such a clatter
That I called 911 'cause
Ever since they made
Me get a gun lock for my pistol
I can't shoot the fricking thing and
I've been robbed six times by
Some scumbag who was just let out
Of jail for good behavior!
When what to my wondering eyes did appear
But a cop doing an illegal
Search-and-seizure 'cause the gay neighbor
Next door seen me fly a rebel flag from my
Truck and he thought I was
In the Klan or something
Like the little wussy that he is little wussy
You know what? The hell with
This poem merry Christmas
You political correctors and may you burn
In Hell for turning this
Once-great country into a
World of uptight, non-smoking
Anti-Jesus, anti-gun, tofu-eating
Tree hugging commies merry
Christmas git-R-Done
I want to do
I writ this poem one night after
Being all pissed off at the news, 'cause
They're so dadgum political
Correct at Christmastime, it irritates me:
'twas the night before Christmas
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring 'cause the
Political correctors done made everybody have
A holiday party and took the
Fricking fun out of everything!
And me and my camo undershorts
And Mom in her Quigley
Down Under Tom Selleck t-shirt
Caroled to ourselves in
Our living room 'cause we was
Afraid some anti-Jesus moron
Might hear us singing 'Joy to the World
The Lord has come' and might get the ACLU
To sue us 'cause we's singing about
Jesus! And that's just as bad as rape
And murder in this dadgum country!
When out on the window
I heard such a clatter
That I called 911 'cause
Ever since they made
Me get a gun lock for my pistol
I can't shoot the fricking thing and
I've been robbed six times by
Some scumbag who was just let out
Of jail for good behavior!
When what to my wondering eyes did appear
But a cop doing an illegal
Search-and-seizure 'cause the gay neighbor
Next door seen me fly a rebel flag from my
Truck and he thought I was
In the Klan or something
Like the little wussy that he is little wussy
You know what? The hell with
This poem merry Christmas
You political correctors and may you burn
In Hell for turning this
Once-great country into a
World of uptight, non-smoking
Anti-Jesus, anti-gun, tofu-eating
Tree hugging commies merry
Christmas git-R-Done